That’s right I posted it.
Fuck you Instagram feed with your over edited pictures of food that looks poisoned, perfect bodies in the perfect environment; always smiling always happy. Fuck the “I just started my day with Yoga and a green juice 30-minute morning routine ” posts that make me feel bad because the only thing I did this morning was getting up and eating some cereals and no fucking green smoothie.
Fuck your fake pictures where you try to sneak in a watch or another product in your post and think people won’t realize it’s an ad. I even stopped posting things I really like because I am afraid that people might think it is just an ad and I get secretly money for it. How sick is that?
And especially fuck this whole self-optimization mania where you tell me on a daily basis that I should drink enough, 10 ways to lose weight, how to be more productive, how to get my teeth whiter, how to be a more active person, how to eat healthier doing this utterly stupid thing called intermittent fasting or how I feel so much better when adding 1 tbsp of acid to every meal.
Fuck all those wannabe influencers, who think that holding a bag of tea or a protein bar in a bikini in a camera is the new business model. And Fuck all the companies with their “influencer briefs” that sound so business-like and cheap as chips at the same time that I need to puke every time I am reading one.
Fuck you new algorithm, that made people go crazy and made them spend even more time online, liking pictures or commenting pictures with empty phrases like: “this looks amazing!”, just so you get another empty comment back.” But hey more comments means a better engagement rate and a higher engagement rate means more cooperation offers which eventually leads to more money. Everything is in competition with everything. And everyone is in competition with anyone, although no one would admit it.
Fuck you auto-playing video ads and inline ads that deal with topics I am not interested. Fuck you for stealing my time.
Fuck your celebrating every fucking imaginary follower milestone. It might come as shock but believe me; Your happiness will not increase linearly to your follower amount. In order to be popular, you either need to post what’s currently booming or you do something completely crazy. Like an insanely huge table of tropical fruits, 10 smoothie bowls, or a fridge filled with chocolate bars (we know you are not eating that, so it is basically just waste).
Fuck all the posts with berries all winter long and avocado slices of bread every day all year. Promoting a healthy “ecological” lifestyle but having no idea about the seasonality of fruits and veggies is just hypocritical. In a world where we are supersaturated with images and videos all day long, it all comes down to what grabs your limited attention. What’s the next big attention-grabbing thing?
Fuck you Insta Bots and Fake profiles. Fuck you follow and unfollow people. Do you really think someone follows you because you followed and unfollowed 5 times? Seriously, what the fuck?
Fuck all your attempts to get popular on Instagram. Everything that you read on an attention seeking blogs like 10 reasons to get more followers instantly. It’s all bullshit and not true. Let me tell you this as someone who is in the business for over 7 years.
But more than all, Instagram world, fuck you for making me one of you.
This post is inspired and adapted from the Fuck you Startup World from Shem Mangnezi