This post is based on a german article I recently read online. The article deals with the topic of a generation that is unable to commit to love. Not like tinder love; more like staying with someone for more than 2 years. I reflected on myself and found that I am falling into the pattern of not being present in real life but more and more in a virtual world through my phone or computer.
I see this pattern also in different areas of life than „love“ or relationships, Sometimes I catch people and myself in a state of „minimalism“. Minimal responsibility, minimal commitment, minimal planning but maximal freedom and self-realization. I don’t want this to sound like a bad thing. I mean is it? Here are some things I don’t like about it.
I don’t like the nonchalance that phones bring into the relationship aspect. I don’t like the voice that is telling me not to upload a picture on Social Media because it doesn’t fit my style.
I don’t like how platforms like tinder suggest that we have 1000 options, served within one app, ready to be tested and then the next day to be left behind. It is an easy way to find a person in a non-binding nature; that might be right for us, without getting too deep into it. Getting hurt. It’s minimal emotional effort.
I recently caught myself when a friend texted me to go out for a drink, and I thought: ah well, why not..but then I somehow felt that staying home doing some blog work would be more comfortable. And I was tired anyway from work and listening to people, that I would appreciate the silence of my Mac book.
I chose being alone with the internet and my social media friends over being present in real life and I did not like it at all.
Isn’t it somehow controversial, that on one hand we are accused of being a consumer society that wants more of everything? More choices, more likes, more retweets, more thumbs up, more online attention. I wondering how this pairs with social minimalism. It somehow sounds like a dangerous cocktail. When a girl on Instagram posts a picture of her body, then the people which are „liking“ the picture are mainly not her real friends but more of an audience. An audience that is (secretly) judging, feeling good or feeling bad about the picture, commenting something genuine or fake. You’ll never know.
I don’t have an objection against this kind of behavior as there also is a very positive side to it, such as helping and motivating other people. Encouraging them with my life story and telling them that they can do it as well. As long as we don’t fall into the of posting what „our audience“ want to see rather than what we really want to post online. If you have a profile on Social Media (pretty sure you do ha!) Have you ever asked yourself why you are posting stuff online? What are you looking for? Approval? Admiration? Likes? Do you like to „style“ your room, food, or yourself because it’s fun or because you know you’ll attract more likes and compliments this way? This week I found the post from Daria (in german) very appealing where she shows her reality for one week on Instagram.
I am actually thinking about getting you guys as well a week of truth from Vanillacrunnch’s side. What do you think? Ready for the unfiltered truth?
As long as we can’t trade in „Likes“ for relationships and real friendship, I think we should make every effort to keep the „real“ friendships we have alive while enjoying our online buddies from time to time. Maybe we should risk the modest attempt and talk more often to people and meet them in person. Real Social Interaction at least in my opinion, it is something that will never be out of style. We just need that little Kick to get up and do it.
I never regretted a good conversation or a really well-done cocktail 😉 Risk it! Do it! Today!
The thing about social media is that it may isolate some people from the real world, but it can also help people connect with other real people and form new relationships and a positive social support outlet. Social media is what you make of it. If you use it in a way that will help you socially, emotionally and psychologically, then you will be able to make commitments and maintain a life on social media. I don’t think that we as a society are not phobic of commitments–we are phobic of not being good enough for the world, when in reality, sometimes we really only have to be good enough for one person.
Would Love to see the unfiltered truth!! It’s so much more genuine and real and I think it might connect more people because they can relate a bit more instead of maybe feeling bad that they have „less“ than in the picture 🙂
Hi Lara!
Thank you so much, once again, for your insightful article. Not only is this one thought-provoking but also meaningful. And so is your reality week (which could be extended to reality posts every once in a while beyond this week just as well 😛 ) Keep your way of being a good example going :)!